Criswell Predicts!
December 30, 2006
Ronnie name-drops the famously inaccurate psychic, Criswell, in her most recent post. I thought it might be fun to share some of his most outrageous prognostications. This one in particular may have particular meaning to my circle of friends:
Much thought and planning will be expended in setting up these communities where perversion will parade shamelessly. And all this will be within the law because the perverted will claim they have been discriminated against. The Supreme Court will rule that whatever these consenting adult males, or females, wish to do, they can!”
What a deal, eh? Gay rights are a fait accompli. Woohoo! Break out the KY so we can do it in the streets and scare the horses. Here’s another one:
“I predict that this catastrophe will take place during the tourist season and the fun-loving people in the amusement zone will suddenly find their day of pleasure turned into one of horror. A roller coaster will rise and sway, throwing cars and occupants to the ground below. A Ferris wheel will collapse and carry many children to untimely deaths. A penny arcade will become a dungeon of doom, a canopy of a merry-go-round will plunge down upon its most innocent riders. I predict only silence will reign where there was once laughter and gaiety. The citizenry of this Colorado city will find themselves enveloped in a jelly-like substance that was once brick, concrete, steel and lumber. They will be unable to escape for it will be impossible to cut through or tear this substance. Although soft and pliable it will still retain the strength and weight formerly possessed. I predict in the outskirts the conditions will not be as serious but fleeing people will find themselves mired in roadways and hardly able to move.
I predict that scientists from all over the world will be called upon to help but no one will be able to offer relief for they will not be able to conquer this terrible force, this mysterious force from outer space. Gradually, as conditions ease survivors will be evacuated but this will become a dead city and will never again be reborn. I predict this unfortunate community will be a victim of elements beyond our control and will always be remembered until the end of time. I predict the name of the city will be Denver, Colorado. The date: June 9, 1989.”
Last time I checked, Denver was still on the map. Good thing. I have a lot of friends in Denver. One more:
Clearly, Criswell was channelling visions of George Romero’s Night of the Living Dead movies. Creepy, eh?
I foresee big changes for 2007. Just you wait and see….
Happy New Year.
Star Time
December 26, 2006
James Brown died this weekend. The hardest working man in show business rests at last.
Some years ago–when I was in college–I was discussing the usefulness of rhythm in pop music with some friends of mine, framing the discussion in terms what you would need to score on the rhythm SAT to play with various artists. We reckoned that you would need about 700 to play with Parliament, about a 580 to play with the Rolling Stones, about 10 to play with the Sex Pistols, and to play with James Brown, you would pretty much have to ace the thing. Don\’t believe it? Pick up any of the various discs on which \”Sex Machine\” is included and try to keep time. It\’s perfect. It\’s tight, but it loosens the ass the way great funk does. \”Free your mind and your ass will follow,\” as George Clinton once said.
The magnitude of James Brown\’s contribution to American music is only now becoming clear, and his reputation will only grow now that he\’s gone. For myself, I tend to think of the great scores he contributed to blaxploitation films in the 1970s: Slaughter\’s Big Rip-Off and (especially) Black Caesar. Like many white teenagers of my generation, my first exposure to Brown was as the Reverend Cleophus James in The Blues Brothers. It pains me that many people will only know Brown from that or from his appearance in Rocky IV (god help us all…). I\’m too young to have seen The T.A.M.I. Show when it was made, but I saw it in the early nineties and I can\’t imagine having to follow James Brown\’s performance (as the terrified Rolling Stones did).
Favorite James Brown song?
Hmm…\”Sex Machine,\” maybe. Or \”It\’s a Man\’s World.\” Or possibly his first hit, \”Please, Please, Please.\” But there is so, so much great music in Brown\’s catalogue. And \”I Got You (I Feel Good)\” is one of those songs that makes EVERYONE feel good, which is just ambrosia.
Star Time
December 26, 2006
James Brown died this weekend. The hardest working man in show business rests at last.
Some years ago–when I was in college–I was discussing the usefulness of rhythm in pop music with some friends of mine, framing the discussion in terms what you would need to score on the rhythm SAT to play with various artists. We reckoned that you would need about 700 to play with Parliament, about a 580 to play with the Rolling Stones, about 10 to play with the Sex Pistols, and to play with James Brown, you would pretty much have to ace the thing. Don\’t believe it? Pick up any of the various discs on which \”Sex Machine\” is included and try to keep time. It\’s perfect. It\’s tight, but it loosens the ass the way great funk does. \”Free your mind and your ass will follow,\” as George Clinton once said.
The magnitude of James Brown\’s contribution to American music is only now becoming clear, and his reputation will only grow now that he\’s gone. For myself, I tend to think of the great scores he contributed to blaxploitation films in the 1970s: Slaughter\’s Big Rip-Off and (especially) Black Caesar. Like many white teenagers of my generation, my first exposure to Brown was as the Reverend Cleophus James in The Blues Brothers. It pains me that many people will only know Brown from that or from his appearance in Rocky IV (god help us all…). I\’m too young to have seen The T.A.M.I. Show when it was made, but I saw it in the early nineties and I can\’t imagine having to follow James Brown\’s performance (as the terrified Rolling Stones did).
Favorite James Brown song?
Hmm…\”Sex Machine,\” maybe. Or \”It\’s a Man\’s World.\” Or possibly his first hit, \”Please, Please, Please.\” But there is so, so much great music in Brown\’s catalogue. And \”I Got You (I Feel Good)\” is one of those songs that makes EVERYONE feel good, which is just ambrosia.
A Rocky Relationship.
December 25, 2006
I was telling Glenda about how lucky I am in the relationship department. My SO not only accepts my strange peccadilloes, she sometimes encourages them. She occasionally buys me jewelry and cosmetics on gift-giving occasions. She’s bought me lingerie. Clearly, my TGism isn’t an issue in our relationship. So what does cause bumps for us? Read on…
We were driving to St. Louis yesterday to spend Christmas Eve with her family. We returned later that evening to a very happy puppy dog. On the drive out, though, we were travelling through some farmland on the two-lane blacktop that connects our little town with I-70. There are a lot of livestock farmers on this corridor, including at least one farm that raises camels and llamas. But we didn’t see any of those while we were driving. We did, however, pass a pasture that was spotted with goats. Lots of goats.
“I wonder,” said I, “if the family that owns that farm is named Marley?”
“Marley? Why do you say that?” she replied.
“Because then those would be Marley’s Goats.”
She didn’t talk to me much for the rest of the drive. I don’t know that I can blame her, but, like my urge to be a girl, I can’t resist that sort of thing.
Merry Christmas.
Christmas Cards
December 19, 2006
Ronnie has expressed some dislike of e-cards. While I don’t much care for e-cards, myself, I should note that I make my own cards (“real” cards as well as e-cards), and because I don’t have the addresses of all my 360 friends, I’m reduced to sending a homemade e-card to all of you on behalf of myself and my SO. So, Ronnie, if you don’t like it, you’ll just have to wait until I see you face to face to get a card from me:
Harrassed
December 14, 2006
While I’m sure that this might be useful to some enterprising Human Resources manager somewhere in corporate America, this is categorically NOT work-safe. So watch it at home if you must:
Heh.
Mmmm, Mmmm….good.
December 10, 2006
For a dish that I more or less made up on the spot, this turned out pretty well:
1/2 an onion, diced
1 Green Bell pepper, diced
1 Red Bell pepper, diced
1 15-oz. can of whole-kernel corn
3 cloves of garlic, diced
2 Roma tomatoes, cubed
1 16-oz package of black beans, soaked and cooked
Some Olive Oil
Some cayenne pepper
Some chili powder
Saute the onion, the bell peppers, the garlic, the tomatoes, the corn, the cayenne pepper, and the chili powder in the olive oil in a LARGE skillet for about ten minutes until the onions are translucent–about ten minutes. Add the beans, cook an additional ten minutes. Serve over rice. You can add meat to this, I suspect. Cubed ham would probably work, or ground beef. Maybe even shrimp, if you like that sort of thing. It works as a vegetarian dish, too. The beans can be prepared well in advance: dried beans are what I use, and once I soak and cook them per the package instructions, I keep them in the fridge for up to a week, or I freeze them. If you don\’t like dealing with dried beans, I guess you could substitute canned beans. This is best served with a hot sauce of some variety. I like a habanero, but that may be too intense for some people. My quantities of oil and spices are pretty vague. I don\’t usually measure those sorts of things. At a guess, there should be two tablespoons of oil and a teaspoon each of the chili powder and the cayenne. But that\’s probably erring on the side of caution. I just dump it in and hope for the best. I\’m not a very scientific cook. This resulted in a ton of servings, so I made a big pot of rice at the same time and mixed it all together to store it.
I didn\’t plan to post yet another food-oriented blog post, but this dish was so photogenic whilst I was cooking it, it seemed a shame not to share it.
Cheers.
Mmmm, Mmmm….good.
December 10, 2006
For a dish that I more or less made up on the spot, this turned out pretty well:
1/2 an onion, diced
1 Green Bell pepper, diced
1 Red Bell pepper, diced
1 15-oz. can of whole-kernel corn
3 cloves of garlic, diced
2 Roma tomatoes, cubed
1 16-oz package of black beans, soaked and cooked
Some Olive Oil
Some cayenne pepper
Some chili powder
Saute the onion, the bell peppers, the garlic, the tomatoes, the corn, the cayenne pepper, and the chili powder in the olive oil in a LARGE skillet for about ten minutes until the onions are translucent–about ten minutes. Add the beans, cook an additional ten minutes. Serve over rice. You can add meat to this, I suspect. Cubed ham would probably work, or ground beef. Maybe even shrimp, if you like that sort of thing. It works as a vegetarian dish, too. The beans can be prepared well in advance: dried beans are what I use, and once I soak and cook them per the package instructions, I keep them in the fridge for up to a week, or I freeze them. If you don\’t like dealing with dried beans, I guess you could substitute canned beans. This is best served with a hot sauce of some variety. I like a habanero, but that may be too intense for some people. My quantities of oil and spices are pretty vague. I don\’t usually measure those sorts of things. At a guess, there should be two tablespoons of oil and a teaspoon each of the chili powder and the cayenne. But that\’s probably erring on the side of caution. I just dump it in and hope for the best. I\’m not a very scientific cook. This resulted in a ton of servings, so I made a big pot of rice at the same time and mixed it all together to store it.
I didn\’t plan to post yet another food-oriented blog post, but this dish was so photogenic whilst I was cooking it, it seemed a shame not to share it.
Cheers.
Improvise. Adapt. Overcome
December 4, 2006
I was snowed in this weekend with nothing much to do but cook, so I gave Marla\’s Aloo Palak recipe a try. Unfortunately–because I was snowed in–I had to make some adaptations. I had the coriander seeds, but not the cumin or the tumeric. I DID have some red curry powder, although that particular variety of curry doesn\’t have tumeric in it. I omitted the cayenne because of the chili pepper in the curry. I also substituted fresh spinach for frozen, mainly because it was on hand, and cooked it all in olive oil rather than water. At this point, the recipe didn\’t resemble Marla\’s at all, but it was quite tasty. I love to cook, and the more I cook, the more I\’m convinced that the mark of a good cook is the ability to adapt and improvise. It\’s fun.
The picture above is my turkey from this past Thanksgiving. It came out especially well this year: moist, falling off the bone, with just a hint of buttery flavor from the basting. Some years, I inject our turkey with wine while I cook it, which makes the resulting meat just heavenly. I omitted this step this year, because the wine we had on hand had turned. Alas. Holiday turkeys are the ultimate in improvisational cuisine, because, once the big holiday dinner is over with, you have to deal with the left-overs. The left-over that usually causes the most problems for people is the turkey carcass once it\’s been picked clean of meat. Don\’t throw it away. Stick it in a big pot and boil it, along with any unused bits of celery or other vegetables you may have used in preparing your turkey. Once it\’s boiled for an hour or longer, you can strain the solid matter out of it with a big collander and save the liquid as turkey stock. We usually have soup for a couple of weeks. Soup is great for improvisation, too, because you can throw anything into soup. This year, I threw in brown rice, corn, carrots, black beans, dill, a couple of bay leaves, garlic, some red bell pepper–whatever I had on hand that I thought might be good in a soup. I wasn\’t following a recipe per se, and I overdid it on the ingredients so that the result was more of a middle stage between a soup and a porridge, but it was tasty as hell.
My car has been stuck in my driveway since the big snowstorm. When I tried to get it out over the weekend, I hit a rut and the combination of slush and rut created a nice quag for my front tires to get mired in. My car is front-wheel drive; and the slush and the ice and the mud made a nice lubricant for my tires to spin in fruitless effort. I was beginning to get pissed off by this morning. Fortunately, a solution presented itself to me. I have a jack. Why not raise the front tires and shove something under them to give them traction? Well…this didn\’t work out so well. The quag swallowed the two by fours I shoved under my wheels, but my efforts attracted the attention of one of my neighbors who I don\’t know. He has a four-wheel drive pick-up truck AND a tow cable. Two minutes later, I was free. I\’ll need to do something to fix the wheel ruts in my drive once the snow goes away. It seems the snow is here for a while. This isn\’t one of those gone-in-three-days kinds of snowfalls. It\’s too cold for it to melt and there\’s enough of it for it to create its own weather. The heaps left by the snowplows at the end of my street are at least six feet deep. In any event, improvisation and adaptation don\’t always work, but the alternative is stasis, as if you\’re trapped in a quag-filled rut. None for me, thanks.
Improvise. Adapt. Overcome
December 4, 2006
I was snowed in this weekend with nothing much to do but cook, so I gave Marla\’s Aloo Palak recipe a try. Unfortunately–because I was snowed in–I had to make some adaptations. I had the coriander seeds, but not the cumin or the tumeric. I DID have some red curry powder, although that particular variety of curry doesn\’t have tumeric in it. I omitted the cayenne because of the chili pepper in the curry. I also substituted fresh spinach for frozen, mainly because it was on hand, and cooked it all in olive oil rather than water. At this point, the recipe didn\’t resemble Marla\’s at all, but it was quite tasty. I love to cook, and the more I cook, the more I\’m convinced that the mark of a good cook is the ability to adapt and improvise. It\’s fun.
The picture above is my turkey from this past Thanksgiving. It came out especially well this year: moist, falling off the bone, with just a hint of buttery flavor from the basting. Some years, I inject our turkey with wine while I cook it, which makes the resulting meat just heavenly. I omitted this step this year, because the wine we had on hand had turned. Alas. Holiday turkeys are the ultimate in improvisational cuisine, because, once the big holiday dinner is over with, you have to deal with the left-overs. The left-over that usually causes the most problems for people is the turkey carcass once it\’s been picked clean of meat. Don\’t throw it away. Stick it in a big pot and boil it, along with any unused bits of celery or other vegetables you may have used in preparing your turkey. Once it\’s boiled for an hour or longer, you can strain the solid matter out of it with a big collander and save the liquid as turkey stock. We usually have soup for a couple of weeks. Soup is great for improvisation, too, because you can throw anything into soup. This year, I threw in brown rice, corn, carrots, black beans, dill, a couple of bay leaves, garlic, some red bell pepper–whatever I had on hand that I thought might be good in a soup. I wasn\’t following a recipe per se, and I overdid it on the ingredients so that the result was more of a middle stage between a soup and a porridge, but it was tasty as hell.
My car has been stuck in my driveway since the big snowstorm. When I tried to get it out over the weekend, I hit a rut and the combination of slush and rut created a nice quag for my front tires to get mired in. My car is front-wheel drive; and the slush and the ice and the mud made a nice lubricant for my tires to spin in fruitless effort. I was beginning to get pissed off by this morning. Fortunately, a solution presented itself to me. I have a jack. Why not raise the front tires and shove something under them to give them traction? Well…this didn\’t work out so well. The quag swallowed the two by fours I shoved under my wheels, but my efforts attracted the attention of one of my neighbors who I don\’t know. He has a four-wheel drive pick-up truck AND a tow cable. Two minutes later, I was free. I\’ll need to do something to fix the wheel ruts in my drive once the snow goes away. It seems the snow is here for a while. This isn\’t one of those gone-in-three-days kinds of snowfalls. It\’s too cold for it to melt and there\’s enough of it for it to create its own weather. The heaps left by the snowplows at the end of my street are at least six feet deep. In any event, improvisation and adaptation don\’t always work, but the alternative is stasis, as if you\’re trapped in a quag-filled rut. None for me, thanks.
