Why I Love My Job
March 29, 2007
I work as an in-house graphic designer for an office that creates textbooks for vocational curriculae. Mostly, I work on industrial and automotive publications, but our office also creates agricultural materials, too. This week, my boss brought me an old curriculum from the days before digital pre-press and told me that we were going to be re-doing it. The subject? Equine science–horse raisin’ if you’re colloquial. This involves recreating all of the illustrations and reformatting all of the text (thankfully, I don’t have to scan all the text–that’s what student interns are for). But that’s all background info. The reason I love my job is this: the first section of this curriculum is devoted to animal husbandry, and several of the illustrations, taken out of context, are hillariously outre. The first drawing I made from this material was a schematic of the genitals of a stallion.
When I got home the night before last, Felicia asked me “So, honey, what did you do today?” To which I replied: “I got to draw horse testicles.”
I love my job.
Happy-Go-Pukey Day
March 27, 2007
I worked from home yesterday. I’m trying to cut down on my gas consumption (and my time consumption) by telecommuting ever other week. I got practically nothing done. I had problems downloading my work pieces early in the day and the middle of the day was spent cleaning up messes. All three of our pets–the dog and both cats–decided that it was Happy-Go-Pukey day. The dog was first. Apparently, she ingested some grass on her morning walk, so her breakfast all came up in one big steaming heap. Lovely. Then it was the tuxedo cat’s turn. She urped up her food in the dining room, under the table. Finally, it was the black cat’s turn. I asked a veterinarian friend of mine about this sort of thing some years ago. Her answer: some cats just like to puke. I think they’re bulimic, because the volume of their discharge is way larger than I would think is healthy for their stomachs. No hairballs were involved this time, either. Just bingeing and purging. Perhaps we should rename the cats “Paris” and “Nicole.” It’s a good thing that Felicia wasn’t home, because the sight of it all would have urged her to join the fun. She doesn’t deal well with this sort of thing.
I love my animals. I do.
Mae West is a heroine of mine, though I have to temper that hero worship with a grain of salt. I\’m talking about the Mae West of the twenties and thirties, the one who tweaked the censors and displayed a risque wit every bit the equal of W. C. Fields or the Marx Brothers. I\’m NOT talking about the elderly Mae West who starred in Myra Breckenridge and Sextette and was captured living in a strange kind of squallor by the photographer, Diane Arbus. In her prime, West was a woman so confident of her sexuality, she was said to be the only woman alive who could get away with flirting with herself. My favorite Mae West-ism is this one: \”Ten men waiting for me at the door? Send one of them home, I\’m tired.\”
This brings me to the picture attached to this post. I uploaded this to my flickr account a couple of days ago, and in the few days it\’s been there, it has been viewed more times than any other picture in my account. We\’re talking an order of magnitude difference in a ridiculously short amount of time. Which begs the question: Why? I don\’t think it\’s any racier than some of the fetish outfits in my gallery. Why this one? I have my suspicions, and many of those suspicions revolve around the kind of thing that Mae West did best: playful sexuality that was a clever put-on.
Mae West is a heroine of mine, though I have to temper that hero worship with a grain of salt. I\’m talking about the Mae West of the twenties and thirties, the one who tweaked the censors and displayed a risque wit every bit the equal of W. C. Fields or the Marx Brothers. I\’m NOT talking about the elderly Mae West who starred in Myra Breckenridge and Sextette and was captured living in a strange kind of squallor by the photographer, Diane Arbus. In her prime, West was a woman so confident of her sexuality, she was said to be the only woman alive who could get away with flirting with herself. My favorite Mae West-ism is this one: \”Ten men waiting for me at the door? Send one of them home, I\’m tired.\”
This brings me to the picture attached to this post. I uploaded this to my flickr account a couple of days ago, and in the few days it\’s been there, it has been viewed more times than any other picture in my account. We\’re talking an order of magnitude difference in a ridiculously short amount of time. Which begs the question: Why? I don\’t think it\’s any racier than some of the fetish outfits in my gallery. Why this one? I have my suspicions, and many of those suspicions revolve around the kind of thing that Mae West did best: playful sexuality that was a clever put-on.
Happy Birthday, Albert Einstein
March 15, 2007
\”Imagination is more important than knowledge\” –Albert Einstein.
Happy Birthday, Albert Einstein
March 15, 2007
\”Imagination is more important than knowledge\” –Albert Einstein.
Back in the 1984, there was a push to nominate Captain America for president. Both parties wanted him on the ticket. Cap, for personal reasons, chose to decline. Like Al Gore, he figured that he could do more good as a free agent. This is all documented in Captain America #250. Hell, I would have voted for him.
With Cap’s tragic passing last week, it gladdens my heart to see that his legacy has been passed to America’s NEW Super Solder, Stephen Colbert:
Exposing the Gay Agenda part 57
March 12, 2007
It\’s no secret. We homosexuals are intent on turning the youth of America gay. How can you look at the photo attached to this post and NOT believe that it\’s true? I mean, once we\’ve convinced impressionable young children that it\’s all right to dress as the leather guy from The Village People for Halloween, we\’ve already started them down a path towards Ikea catalogs and man-purses.
Muahahahahahaha!
(note: photograph shamelessly stolen from this page, which contains horrors the likes of which you\’ve never seen before…)
Exposing the Gay Agenda part 57
March 12, 2007
It\’s no secret. We homosexuals are intent on turning the youth of America gay. How can you look at the photo attached to this post and NOT believe that it\’s true? I mean, once we\’ve convinced impressionable young children that it\’s all right to dress as the leather guy from The Village People for Halloween, we\’ve already started them down a path towards Ikea catalogs and man-purses.
Muahahahahahaha!
(note: photograph shamelessly stolen from this page, which contains horrors the likes of which you\’ve never seen before…)
Fearless Vampire Hunters
March 6, 2007
I\’m sure Eastern Europe is sleeping more soundly after this:
According to Ananova, the politically-motivated Van Helsings, led by Miroslav Milosevic (no relation), gave themselves up to cops after attacking the deceased despot in his grave in the eastern town of Pozarevac. Milosevic popped his clogs back in 2006, while on trial in a UN war crimes tribunal for various unsavoury activities connected with the disintegration of the former Yugoslavia.
Miroslav Milosevic said \”he and his fellow vampire hunters acted to stop the former dictator returning from the dead to haunt the country\”. His team explained that the wooden stake had been \”driven into the ground and through the late president\’s heart\”.
Slobodan Milosevic\’s Socialist Party of Serbia naturally condemned the desecration, while his daughter-in-law Milica Gajic said she \”planned to sue the vampire hunters and accused the police of failing to protect the grave properly\”.
Here\’s the link, in case you think my imagination has run away with me:
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/03/06/milosevic_staked/
Enjoy.
