Answers to My Screen Caps

For those of you who were playing my screen capture challenge, here are the films:

1. May
2. A Tale of Two Sisters
3. The Fog (1980 version)
4. Blind Beast
5. Scanners
6. The Mystery of the Wax Museum
7. Let’s Scare Jessica to Death
8. Kill, Baby, Kill
9. The Spiral Staircase (funny how the previous capture seems more appropriate to this title)
10. Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde (1932)
11. Eyes Without A Face
12. Kiss of the Vampire
13. The Haunted Palace

Fine films, every one.

Not Bad, Just a Little Cold Around the Heart…

src=\”http://dunyazad.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/1179946433-hr-11971.jpg\”

So I took one of those blog quizzes earlier this afternoon, and the results kinda pissed me off. The quiz was \”Which Classic Screen Siren Are You?\” I came up as Joan Crawford. Mind you, it\’s not as if I dislike Joan Crawford, but the result shows that the author of the quiz has absolutely no clue about Ms. Crawford\’s film career. Let me explain: many of the replies were slanted towards a film noir-ish femme fatale image, an image to which I slanted my answers. I fully expected to have the quiz spit out Barbara Stanwyck, given that one or two of the slanted answers seem to specifically reference her character in Double Indemnity. But Crawford? Crawford did NOT make a career out of playing femme fatales. Here early career was dominated by roles as shopgirls climbing the social ladder through pluck. Her middle career was dominated by sophisticates and society mavens, with the occasional hard-boiled dame thrown in. Her late career was camp. But nothing in her output says femme fatale. The closest she ever came was in A Woman\’s Face, in which she plays a disfigured blackmailer who becomes a different person once a plastic surgeon fixes her face (Ingrid Bergman played the role in a Swedish original). I suppose you could argue that her role in Humoresque was a femme fatale, but, well, not really…

Ignorant.

So screw it. I\’ll pick my own answer, thank you very much, and that answer is Jane Greer in Out of the Past (pictured), a woman who twists both Kirk Douglas and Robert Mitchum around her little finger, a woman whose first appearance on screen elicits a reaction of \”I\’d kill for that woman.\” Now THAT\’S what I call a femme fatale…

Not Bad, Just a Little Cold Around the Heart…

src=\”http://dunyazad.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/1179946433-hr-1197.jpg\”

So I took one of those blog quizzes earlier this afternoon, and the results kinda pissed me off. The quiz was \”Which Classic Screen Siren Are You?\” I came up as Joan Crawford. Mind you, it\’s not as if I dislike Joan Crawford, but the result shows that the author of the quiz has absolutely no clue about Ms. Crawford\’s film career. Let me explain: many of the replies were slanted towards a film noir-ish femme fatale image, an image to which I slanted my answers. I fully expected to have the quiz spit out Barbara Stanwyck, given that one or two of the slanted answers seem to specifically reference her character in Double Indemnity. But Crawford? Crawford did NOT make a career out of playing femme fatales. Here early career was dominated by roles as shopgirls climbing the social ladder through pluck. Her middle career was dominated by sophisticates and society mavens, with the occasional hard-boiled dame thrown in. Her late career was camp. But nothing in her output says femme fatale. The closest she ever came was in A Woman\’s Face, in which she plays a disfigured blackmailer who becomes a different person once a plastic surgeon fixes her face (Ingrid Bergman played the role in a Swedish original). I suppose you could argue that her role in Humoresque was a femme fatale, but, well, not really…

Ignorant.

So screw it. I\’ll pick my own answer, thank you very much, and that answer is Jane Greer in Out of the Past (pictured), a woman who twists both Kirk Douglas and Robert Mitchum around her little finger, a woman whose first appearance on screen elicits a reaction of \”I\’d kill for that woman.\” Now THAT\’S what I call a femme fatale…

More Fun With Our Fundamentalist Friends…

…courtesy Ron Ormond and the Reverent Estes Pirkel. You may remember the clip of our heavenly reward I posted a couple of days ago. That was the work of these two brain donors.

A word of explanation. Ron Ormond was an exploitation filmmaker of dubious talents back in the golden age of exploitation filmmaking, in the bad old days of the grindhouse. His most famous film is The Mesa of Lost Women, a film that stands as damning evidence that Ed Wood not only wasn’t the worst filmmaker to ever sit the director’s chair, but that he may have actually been, gasp, more competent than many of his peers.

In any event, after a film named The Monster and the Stripper, Mr. Ormond found Jesus. It didn’t change the nature of his films, mind you, but it DID re-purpose them in the service of The Lord. The first fruits of Ormond’s partnership with Mississippi preacher Pirkel was a masterpiece of bad taste called If Footmen Tire You, What Will Horses Do?, a title that makes about as much sense as the movie itself.

An early scene shows the nefarious brainwashing methods of our future communist masters, should America turn its face from God:

But then the stakes escalate. See what happens when we dare to teach our children about God:

The history of Christianity is littered with dead bodies, it should be noted, and this film literalizes this fact with numerous shots of piles of corpses in the streets, all attributed to the hordes of atheist communists (who, admittedly, aren’t exactly pollyannas either). So what is destroying the moral fiber of our country? What is leaving us vulnerable to instantaneous communist takeover? Rev. Pirkel claims that it’s Saturday morning cartoons and secular music. Who knew?

When I first stumbled across this movie, it rather explained some things about the direction our country has been taking since the turn of the millennium. Of course, nothing exists in a vacuum, and so it is with this. There is an entire subculture of Christian scare films that are equally hysterical. My favorite of these is a deranged item called Blood Freak, which in comparison suggests that messrs Ormond and Pirkel may have, in fact, been exercising a modium of taste and restraint…

Just remember, it can happen here.

A Butcher’s Dozen Screen Cap Challenge

As most of you know, I’m a big fan of horror movies. Some of my friends on 360 share this with me, so I thought I’d have some fun with them. What follows are thirteen screen captures. Some of these might be pretty easy to genre veterans. Some of these might require a PhD in horror movies to solve. I’ll post the answers next week.

Without further ado:

#1.:
#2.:
#3.:
#4.:
#5.:
#6.:
#7.:
#8.:
#9.:
#10.:
#11.:
#12.:
#13.:

Enjoy.

THAT is the question…

I don’t normally do these, but I’m trying to do a better job of posting to my blog. Hence, this fodder. This comes courtesy one of Zelda’s blogs. Where she got it? I don’t know. So…more than you probably ever wanted to know about me…

What is your female name? Christianne Janine Benedict.
How long have you been Christianne? Since 1998. Before that, I was a Christine.
What do you consider yourself? What day of the week is it? My gender dysphoria ebbs and flows. Transgender is a good catch all. An individual is even better.
Sexual preference? Technically, I’m bisexual. I say technically because my SO is genetically female. But I’m most attracted to men.
Do you consider yourself a male or female? Sometimes.
Do you cross-dress for a sexual thrill? Occasionally.
Do you have other fetishes? Oh yes…
Are you a closet CD or have you come out? I’m completely out. Even at work.
Could you pass for a woman? In low light, with many libations flowing around me, perhaps.
Favorite…
…article of women’s clothing? Corsets.
…purse? My silk Chinese take-out box. Unfortunately, it doesn’t match anything.
…pair of women’s shoes? My corset-laced calf-boots from Payless.
…kind of lingerie? Leather.
…make-up? MAC
…drink? Virgin strawberry daquiri (I’m a tee-totlaler).
…food? Bakalava.
…cities to visit? Atlanta, Chicago, Asheville NC, KC, Denver
Panties or thongs? Thongs.
Thigh highs, knee highs, stockings or pantyhose? Thigh highs.
Skirts or dresses? Skirts.
Bra or bustier? Bustier.
Swimwear: bikini or 1-piece? One piece.
Night out with girl friends or CD friends? Either, though I have very few of either in my immediate locale…

Enjoy.

My Life Needs a Soundtrack…

I’m not entirely sure of what would be on that soundtrack, but composing my funeral playlist, I remembered the relatively unsuccessful Project Playlist experiment and the quirky placement of the Mary Tyler Moore show theme at the head of my initial playlist. Well, here’s taking things a little further. For your listening pleasure, I submit ten of the coolest theme songs ever to ride the nation’s television airwaves. The first five are in order of coolness except that Peter Gunn is supposed to be in the number one slot and keeps slipping through a quirk of the software. The rest are freely associated. I regret that I was unable to find a couple of the themes I wanted to put here, but what can you do?

If you’d like to share your own musical tastes, make a playlist of your own and let me know! I’m dying of curiosity.

And without further ado…

Enjoy.

A Mother’s Day Triple Feature…

Just after Valentine’s Day, Marla asked me what I watched for Mother’s Day. The real answer is, “normally, nothing special,” but the question has been echoing in my head. So this year, in memory of mom, I decided to honor Mother’s Day in my own inimitable fashion.

First up is The Manchurian Candidate. If you haven’t seen the movie, I won’t spoil it for you, except to state that Angela Lansbury’s character in this movie is the all-time dysfunctional mother from hell.

Next is Aliens, in which Ripley becomes a surrogate mom to young Newt, and faces off against the cinema’s most frightening mother, the Queen Alien. The whole movie is a paean to motherhood run amok.

And finally, there’s Hitchcock’s Psycho, because, “Mother–what’s the phrase?–isn’t quite herself today…”

Honorable mention goes to I Dismember Mama, which has one of the all-time great taglines: “May she rest…in pieces.” Unfortunately, I don’t own a copy and, equally unfortunately, it’s a pretty crappy movie to start with. And also to Mommie Dearest, which I also don’t own, for best performance by an eyebrow pencil.

Enjoy.

The Great Gig in the Sky

Well, we had Melvin put down yesterday. I take some comfort in the fact that he wasn’t in obvious pain, but he was obviously failing. It was his time. Via condios, my friend. It wasn’t a hard decision, really, nor was it as bad as it was the last time we had to have a pet put down. Five years ago, my dog died from intestinal bloating. The very next day, our three-year-old cat lost the use of his legs from a blood clot lodged at the spot where the femoral arteries branch off from the aorta. His heart and aorta were growing inward. So we had him put down. It was a rough week. This was a cakewalk. My thanks to everyone who offered condolences over the last two days. They are very much appreciated.

All of this puts me in the mood to think about death. NPR didn’t help this week. I was listening to All Things Considered yesterday when they did a story on the business of funeral planning. It got me to thinking about my own funeral. I’ve long maintained that I want a Viking funeral. The total expense of such a thing would be a dingy, a cord of wood, some lighter fluid, and a match. And a hat with horns, of course, and probably a fabulous gown with big flammable crinoline petticoats to wear into eternity. The music playlist would go something like this:

“Not Dark Yet” by Bob Dylan
“Many Rivers to Cross” by Jimmy Cliff
“What a Wonderful World” by Louis Armstrong
“Free Four” by Pink Floyd
“Long Black Veil” by Johnny Cash
“A Change is Gonna Come” by Sam Cooke
“When the Grass Grows Over Me” by Jerry Lee Lewis
“The Dimming of the Day” by Richard and Linda Thompson
“We’ll Meet Again” by Vera Lynn

I face atheism’s final reward, which is a comfort to me. If I have a tombstone, I’ll probably insist that it read: “Here lies an atheist. All dressed up with no place to go.” I can generally pinpoint my dissatisfaction with religion at the point when a boyhood divinity teacher of mine summed up the Christian final reward as being akin to becoming a celestial couch potato, basking in the eternal glory of God. Some years later, a religious friend of mine described it more along the lines of having an eternal orgasm, but are you going to tell that to ten-year olds? Not likely. By that time, the damage had been done anyway. Buddhism’s concepts of being and nothingness are closer to my own worldview, truth to tell. Nothingness is a LOT more appealing to me than what this guy is selling, in any case, if only to avoid looking at those fashions for all eternity:

Cheers.

A Matter of Life and Death

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We have a tough decision to make tonight. One of our cats has been losing weight. Lots of it. Enough of it to make us very concerned. He\’s also started losing his hair. So we took him to the vet today and the news was not good. He has a mass in his liver that is compressing his intestines and preventing his food from passing normally (remember happy go pukey day? here\’s a cause). Is it cancer? Dunno. Can we afford to find out? Dunno. Probably not. Given the speed with which this happened, its probably a fairly aggressive tumor, which may or may not be operable. The vet claims that removing lobes of the liver that contain masses like this one is possible. This assumes that the tumor hasn\’t metastasized, this assumes that Melvin is strong enough to endure the operation. This presumes that we can even afford this, which we probably can\’t.

So we have the grim decision tonight of whether or not to have Melvin put down. Melvin is a pretty old cat. He\’s 14, which is beyond the average lifespan of most house cats. Do we mortgage ourselves for a procedure that might kill him? And will we see him die from some other cause a year from now?

Fuck.