I’m a Fierce Femme

This amuses me:

You Are a Fierce Femme

You have a wild side, and you aren’t afraid to bring it out when the time is right. But you also know when to hang back and keep your “crazy chick” persona in check. In fact, some of your friends may be surprised to find out how far you can take it… You may look mild mannered, but it’s all an act!

Are You a Daring Woman?

What is Best in Life?

Mongol General: Hao! Dai ye! We won again! This is good, but what is best in life?
Mongol: The open steppe, fleet horse, falcons at your wrist, and the wind in your hair.
Mongol General: Wrong! Conan! What is best in life?
Conan: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of the women.
Mongol General: That is good! That is good.

Here are a few things that I find to be best in life:

• The opening shot of Touch of Evil:

• The first four Blondie albums

• Jan Vermeer

• Coco Chanel suits

• Strawberries

What Be YER Pirate Name, Wench?

In honor of our beloved Talk Like a Pirate Day…

My pirate name is:

Dread Pirate Vane

Like the famous Dread Pirate Roberts, you have a keen head for how to make a profit. You tend to blend into the background occaisionally, but that’s okay, because it’s much easier to sneak up on people and disembowel them that way. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
part of the fidius.org network

Avast.

Entry for September 18, 2007

Posted without further commentary from me:

Enjoy

My Camera Sucks and other lessons from this year\’s SCC…

src=\”http://dunyazad.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/1190058536-hr-13951.jpg\”

There\’s no doubt about it. Gremlins have been tinkering with my digital camera. I believe they\’ve replaced the shutter with a \”suck\” button, a la that old Far Side cartoon. In perusing the pictures I took this year at Southern Comfort, I hate just about all of them. The ones I kinda sorta like are all out of focus for some reason. If I took your picture at SCC, I apologize in advance for not getting them to you. The worst victims are Glenda and Laura. Alas. I think I got four good pictures out of all of them. Suck.

A lot of girls have a kind of a crash after going home from SCC, but not me. I\’m usually eager to sleep in my own bed by the end of the conference. This year was no different. I\’ve also gotten into the habit of taking the day after as vacation so I can soak my feet in a bucket of ice. This year, I drove a manual transmission to SCC, which kinda sucked after wrecking my feet for a week. On the other hand, I was able to fit more into the Yaris than I ever dreamed I would. I love that car.

I wasn\’t impressed by the new hotel this year. Zelda and I had more trouble with the service than I\’ve ever had at a hotel and our toilet never worked quite right. I talked to some of my friends who sprang for suites and they had impeccable service. In other words, Z and I were down in steerage and were bound to drown when the place hit the iceberg. On the other hand, the Eye-talian restaurant downstairs was magnificent. I had two lovely dinner there. Note to self: never bother buying the meal package at SCC again. I haven\’t bought it the last two times and I\’ve never missed it. If I go back next year–i.e: if I have the money to go back next year–I\’m probably going to spring for a suite with whoever I wind up rooming.

The Tennessee Titans were playing the Indianapolis Colts when I drove past the stadium. I wish I could have stopped. I listened to the game as I drove through Tennessee. It was a hell of a good game. The Titans are always playing when I drive through after SCC. You\’d think I\’d take the hint.

I lost more weight than I normally do. I normally eat like a bird at SCC and when I return home, I\’ve usually dropped about five pounds. This year, I dropped eight. Chalk it up to the water weight I lost while wearing non-breathable fabrics. I\’m not complaining. Now if I can keep it off. Amazingly, almost everyone I ran into told me that I looked smaller than I do in my pictures. Another reason to ditch my camera, methinks. It\’s making me look fat. The bastard.

My Camera Sucks and other lessons from this year\’s SCC…

src=\”http://dunyazad.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/1190058536-hr-1395.jpg\”

There\’s no doubt about it. Gremlins have been tinkering with my digital camera. I believe they\’ve replaced the shutter with a \”suck\” button, a la that old Far Side cartoon. In perusing the pictures I took this year at Southern Comfort, I hate just about all of them. The ones I kinda sorta like are all out of focus for some reason. If I took your picture at SCC, I apologize in advance for not getting them to you. The worst victims are Glenda and Laura. Alas. I think I got four good pictures out of all of them. Suck.

A lot of girls have a kind of a crash after going home from SCC, but not me. I\’m usually eager to sleep in my own bed by the end of the conference. This year was no different. I\’ve also gotten into the habit of taking the day after as vacation so I can soak my feet in a bucket of ice. This year, I drove a manual transmission to SCC, which kinda sucked after wrecking my feet for a week. On the other hand, I was able to fit more into the Yaris than I ever dreamed I would. I love that car.

I wasn\’t impressed by the new hotel this year. Zelda and I had more trouble with the service than I\’ve ever had at a hotel and our toilet never worked quite right. I talked to some of my friends who sprang for suites and they had impeccable service. In other words, Z and I were down in steerage and were bound to drown when the place hit the iceberg. On the other hand, the Eye-talian restaurant downstairs was magnificent. I had two lovely dinner there. Note to self: never bother buying the meal package at SCC again. I haven\’t bought it the last two times and I\’ve never missed it. If I go back next year–i.e: if I have the money to go back next year–I\’m probably going to spring for a suite with whoever I wind up rooming.

The Tennessee Titans were playing the Indianapolis Colts when I drove past the stadium. I wish I could have stopped. I listened to the game as I drove through Tennessee. It was a hell of a good game. The Titans are always playing when I drive through after SCC. You\’d think I\’d take the hint.

I lost more weight than I normally do. I normally eat like a bird at SCC and when I return home, I\’ve usually dropped about five pounds. This year, I dropped eight. Chalk it up to the water weight I lost while wearing non-breathable fabrics. I\’m not complaining. Now if I can keep it off. Amazingly, almost everyone I ran into told me that I looked smaller than I do in my pictures. Another reason to ditch my camera, methinks. It\’s making me look fat. The bastard.

A Day at the Dentist

There is a wonderful old Arch Obler radio show called Lights Out. Radio drama has fallen way off the radar of pop culture, which is a shame, because it had some very effect formal elements that aren’t shared by other forms. My very favorite episode of Obler’s show was a piece of nastiness called “A Day at the Dentist.” You can hear it here, if you’re interested. It’s great fun.

Every time I go to the dentist, I think of Arch Obler. Other people think of The Marathon Man (“Is it safe?”), some doubtless think of Little Shop of Horrors.

The dental hygienist had a new toy to play with that reinforce my thoughts along these lines. Something called a “Cavitron,” which turned out to be a new version of my old nemesis, the ultrasonic scaler. Not only does this device flay your gums as it works, but it sprays a stream of water along its tip to keep it cool as it vibrates. This has the secondary effect of shooting water down one’s throat. The hygienist also had a new doohickie for taking X-rays. Gone are the little cardboard frames holding the x-ray film. Instead, they now have a digital sensor. It’s big and bulbous and damned if it didn’t trigger my gag reflex when they put it in place to scan my back teeth.

(“Waitaminute? You still have a gag reflex after all this time?” “Oh, shut up.”)

The wonders of modern dentistry.

I had an electrolysis appointment yesterday, and damned if that wasn’t a whole lot more comfortable than my trip to the dentist. Maybe I’m just getting used to it.

---

I’ll be doing SCC on the cheap this year. I have a lot less money available than I thought. If I hadn’t already paid for the conference, I’d call the whole thing off. But I need the time out and about. Things to do before I leave:

1. Hair removal. Waxing appointment scheduled for Friday, check.
2. Clean the wigs. Done over the weekend, check.
3. Wash the girl clothes. Take care of that this Saturday.
4. Pack. After I wash the girl clothes.
5. Fix the violet wand. Did that two weeks ago, check.
6. Finish work project. In progress.
7. Find a lady’s maid. I have possibilities for that this year. We shall see.
8. Buy batteries for camera.
9. Visit the library to get a long audiobook for the drive.
10. Figure out where the hell I’m going in the first place.

And, oh, look: Columbia’s Roots and Blues festival is this weekend. Where ever will I find the time…

Entry for September 03, 2007

I don’t have anything specific to write about, but I did take this picture at the community garden near my house yesterday. I took it as a photo reference for a watercolor I’m executing. The leaves have an interesting op-art look. I slightly saturated the color in Photoshop. Hope the painting comes out:

Enjoy.